Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I heart Minnie

At the risk of getting myself into trouble here, why (and HOW???) are there so many adults who think it is acceptable to wear anything with a "character" stamped on the front? I'm pretty sure the worst includes everyone's favorite "girlfriend's worst nightmare" slutty skank Tinkerbell... But any of them make me cringe. And you KNOW it extends far beyond t-shirts and wallets for most of these crazies. I could go on and on, but would just turn into a bitch if I did so. So... 'Nuff said.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Provo Phenomenon

Every time I go to Provo, I remember why it's there and I'm here.

Not that there's anything necessarily WRONG with it, it's just that...well, what's RIGHT with it? And every time I go there I am socially annoyed.

I have a short list of things I see or experience EVERY time I visit this city that help me to remember Y I hate it there.

1. TERRIBLE customer service EVERYWHERE.

2. Long Lines EVERYWHERE. I just wanna know, WHY on any given night could it REALLY take over an hour to dine at Carraba's?

3. People who cross the street anywhere they want without even looking.

4. Females of any type and age who constantly check themselves out in any and all reflective surfaces, and usually do so with 'that face'....you know....the casual but deliberate 'I'm so hot, I can't stop looking at myself' face.

5. Men at the gas station that shamelessly check me out.....even though I'm 8 months pregnant. It's totally wierd.

6. Lame College students driving around on their STUPID A beach cruisers in large groups dressed like A&F models.

7. Hispanic Gangs

8. Girls, usually in pairs, and usually UGLY walking around the LOS HERMANOS area and being completely loud and abnoxious.....because they need to be, because they are UGLY.....but they have 'GREAT' personalities.

9. Cary and Tuker Brown....

10. Single men, that look like they are running for their lives.....and being chased around by the BYU soon to be STEPFORD WIVES CLUB. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

so sweet...

I don’t understand stuff like this. Why does Deseret Book seek to capitalize over the love life of a prophet? Why does everybody like to pretend that Joseph and Emma had the ideal relationship? (Wasn’t she a little crazy? And didn’t he have a couple extra wives?) Furthermore, what is with this newfound Emma worship, anyway? I do respect her and I know that she went through a TON, and I really don’t blame her for staying in Nauvoo in the end… but do they have to publish all these Love Letters and A Love Story books and My Story movies, and does everybody in Utah have to name at least one of their daughters after her? I don’t think so.

I do think that prophets’ personal lives are worth studying, so that we can understand their backgrounds, learn from their experiences, and pay them the respect they deserve. But love letters??? Please. What’s next? Action figures? Video games? Chess sets (The Smiths vs. Angry mob… tar and feathers included)? Is anything sacred? I’m going to pay my respects by NOT buying sappy, probing, Mormon pop-culture paraphernalia.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Baby ....GIFT?....

I don't really know how many there are, but it looks like a lot.

When he gave me the diapers, I was on the phone. (What? I was at work). He left them by me, and we made eye contact. I mouthed the words 'thank you' and that was that.

A few days later, I ran into him at work again. He casually said in passing ' just leave some cash for me, for the diapers, whenever you get to it.'

WHAT THE....???

I laughed. And looked back at him as if he were pulling my leg.

A few days following that, he said it again. So, this time I responded. 'Oh, are you serious? I thought you were giving me a gift?' (how silly of me to miss this transaction when there was never a SALE that took place, and the diapers were delivered to me in a gift bag?)

He responded 'Well, there's like 90 diapers in that bag - you should expect to pay SOMETHING for them...'

Oh, should I?

What on earth is this? Who is this guy?

I'm giving the GIFT back. What would you do?

Seriously though. Why would I pay money for leftover diapers, not in a box? I'll get my own NEW diapers, especially if I'm forking out ANY sort of cash for them.

And, to make matters worse, another guy that I work with piped in 'Yeah Steve, 'She' can pay you for them, 'She' is loaded.'

Who are these idiots, and where is their Social Grace? Any why on earth would anybody's financial standing have anything to do with why they should or should not get a gift?

Neither of them know mine anyway - I'm just starting to assume they are both slimy salesman. And, don't they realize that we all have the same job, and likely get paid close to the same? Stupid.


And, lame of me to bring this 'thought' into the workplace, but REALLY, WHO gives leftover diapers, and then asks the PREGNANT lady to give them money for them. Who are these sick people?

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I just want a Pedicure

Hi, I'm here for a pedicure.

(screaming to the back of the shop in foreign language....followed by somebody else coming in and pointing to a chair, filling it with water, and blue stuff, and then exiting. Person who originally began the foreign screaming stays put....reading, or waiting to answer phone. Another person enters and begins the pedicure).

Pedicurist smiley, happy, ready to pedi- me.

Me. AHHH. Relax. Begin massagers.

Pedicurist. You have kids, job, blah blah blah.

Me. Annoyed. I am not here to chit chat. Just Pedi-me. But instead, I try to answer quickly and go back to my relaxation. After all, I'm just here for a pedicure.

Honestly, when I go to get a pedicure, I just want to relax. I'm not there to make friends with some chick that I know hates me before I even get in there. she doesn't want to be my friend, and I don't want to chit chat with her. I just want to tune out, and get my stinking toenails painted. I'd do it myself if I could reach them over my massive baby bump.
I just want a pedicure.

Why to they bother me with the conversation? I hate it.

My favorite though, is the HATRED they give once I deny their add ons.
'You want eyebrow wax?
'You want Manicure?'
'You want design?'
WHAT? NO. Tacky. Hate them. Paint em red. Stop talking to me. Polish.


Am I alone?

Monday, October 27, 2008

Halloween "costumes"

This is not an excuse to simply let your inner-slut out.

Why do girls (and their husbands, let's face it...) who cover their shoulders, thighs, and necklines every other day of the year (I assume) honestly think it's okay to wear whatever the hell they want for a Halloween party? There's a reason why you're supposed to cover all that up, honey! (And you know these are the same people who wear their little skimpy cocktail dresses on cruises and trips to Hawaii.)

If I can come up with a costume year after year, however far-fetched it may be, I'm pretty sure you can, too. Unleash that inner-slut behind your locked bedroom door. Beyond that, you can guarantee that I'll think that much less of you.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Baby Talk

I've seen it again and again.
By people I really respect and love.
People I really didn't think would ever submit themselves
(or their children)
to such lame-ness.
Blogging as your child.
Like they are the ones who are talking all about how much they love Grandma.
Or how their trip to the zoo was so much fun. They love birdies and zebwas and playing in the fountain.
Get real.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Public display

Get Real.
We've all seen it.
And we've all done it.
I have never been THAT nervous about nursing in public. Sometimes I don't cover up that well. I just don't really care. I'm feeding my baby.
But you know how some kids just get OBSESSED with 'that area' when they are done breastfeeding? ....and I mean when they are too old to breastfeed, not just done for that feeding....
You know the ones.
The kinds that stand up in the grocery cart in front of you at the grocery store, and just touch their Mom- right on the Breastabas?
I just wonder why these kids get so obsessed.
Even worse- I wonder why their Moms just let their kids get away with having their hands all over their Boobs- right there in public- like it's not weird?

Monday, October 13, 2008

blow-up WHAT?

There are so many different things running through my mind on this subject, it's hard to know where to begin.

Holidays. I love the holidays. And by "holidays", I am not simply referring to those this time of year dubbed The Holidays (combo Thanksgiving/Hanukkuh/Christmas/Kwanzaa), though these may or may not, in fact, be my favorite time of year. Back to my point -- All holidays, all throughout the year, just tickle my fancy. Likewise, holiday decorations can only add to this happiness, right? Or so one would think.

I'm all for getting into the spirit of any holiday. You go ahead and decorate to your little heart's content. However, I've got to draw the line somewhere.

Case in point:
Never been a fan of blow-up lawn decor. That doesn't mean I think every person who puts one in their yard is an idiot (though some of them are...). But come on. Let's put aside the fact that there are so many different genres of decoration styles represented here I can't even categorize them, and focus on my favorites.

The blow-ups. A headless horseman? Really? It's not enough to have a nasty-at-any-size ginormous inflatable spider over your garage... You've got to add the usually creepy, now corny cartoon-looking headless horseman to your front lawn. But then again, are inflatable anythings ever not cheesy? Money well-spent, folks. Money well-spent.

Then we've got the ghost window stickies, which I'm sure my aversion to are merely a result of my mother never letting us put them on our windows as children (when it would have actually been acceptable). And really, let's face it, probably wouldn't even bother me were it not for the "October Seasonal Aisle" spewed across the rest of residence.

I also like the randomly-thrown-in-there wreath between the two front windows. Let's hang some more Homemaking Night items, put a handful of Jumanji spiders everywhere, and call it a day!

A little harsh? Yeah. But that's how I feel about it.

Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 11, 2008


So I've been getting a lot of flack lately. Why you ask? Well because I am:




Own a firearm

Future soccer mom

Have a newborn

Have cute hair and dress more towards the forward side of fashion

Oh yea, and I am a MORMON


I hate Sarah Palin. So much. Why does everybody assume because of the above statements regarding my demographic that I love her? That I think she is the savior of all appressed women?

I cringe when she speaks. I hate when she tries to be clever and make jokes. I love SNL skits that make fun of her. I hate her one liner jabs in debates.

She makes me feel embarrassed for being an intelligent woman. She sucks!

I'm voting Democratic.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Mind Probe

I am kicking myself for missing the Presidential Debates last night.

Today, I heard a bunch of chatter on about the debates on the radio while I was driving around.

I was enthralled about one subject that came up in my variety of listening material.

Should America become militarily involved in WORLD ISSUES when there is Genocide? Should we ACT instead of let this happen?

I'm never really TOO interested, honestly, about the topic. I have always figured it was way too far beyond my control, and that I shouldn't worry so much about something I will never have the power to solve, or change.

But the Rabbi on Oprah Radio got me thinking today, and I decided that I had to ask myself a series of questions because this IS a HUGE problem in the PAST, PRESENT, and FUTURE of our WORLD.

The Discussion became Religious.

The RABBI, yes people, I said RABBI, began quoting the teachings of Jesus. The easy ones, the common ones, the ones MANY of us Live by. Then I was REALLY intrigued. I love how a religious man, in a religion that does not recognize Jesus as the Savior of the World, lives and teaches the words of MY GUIDE.

Love Thine Enemy.

Hate the Sin, but Love the Sinner.

Are you catching on to the point he was making?

Well, I didn't. I don't get it. We are talking GENOCIDE here people? How can I live the teachings I have been taught since birth when if I go by what I said above- I MUST love the people who are massacring and stealing innocent lives all because of HATE?

And this is where you enter the MIND PROBE:

I have had to look past things before. Things that made me WANT to feel hate. I have used the 'Hate the Sin, but love the sinner' phrase to save myself from holding on to unnecessary baggage due to hate. But is this a black and white rule of LIFE? Can it ALWAYS be used, and is it always effective?

I can't help but wonder.

America is the most powerful nation in the world. Even despite our economic downturn, we are still the world leader. We have fundamental humanitarian values and believe in HUMAN rights. WE want the entire world to be free, and live lives void of oppression. WE can't understand that any Human spirit would want to live lives in fear of oppression, death, lack of freedom...so we get involved to liberate them.

Some of them.

Some get completely avoided. We have troops in about 122 nations across the globe.

Why do we let GENOCIDE happen in the Sudan. Right Now. And do nothing?

Don't we hate that sin?

Should we stand by and watch?

I feel like we must do something.

How do you respond properly to a MASSIVE WORLD problem when you follow the LOVE teachings? HOW can you trust yourself to do the necessary things to eliminate a problem like genocide when you are Governed by LOVE?

I think this is 'the time to HATE'....

So, is it? There is a time for love, and a time for hate.....right?

How do you know when and what?

How do you LOVE a large group of people who are governed by HATE, and who have chosen EVIL? And, for that matter, how can you stop the EVIL effectively if you can't hate them back?

I think we need to hate them back. I don't feel there is room for love towards this kind of evil. The only way to stop this kind of GENOCIDE is with fighting and war, or else it won't stop.


Can you still love someone who CHOOSES to HATE and MURDER innocent people?

Isn't that about the time a soul loses it's humanity, and it's right to be loved?

Do I ask myself if Jesus was saying it to ME- Love MY enemies...and in this case, aren't these killers enemies of God? Can I HATE the enemies of GOD, and act in order to stop them from their terror?

How do you balance the appropriateness of love and hate?
Can American soldiers effectively fight the war on Terror and the wars to stop Genocide when they LOVE? Or is it required for them to hate their enemy in order to fight effectively?

I can understand how to love somebody who does things I HATE.

I have had friends and close acquaintances who have been deeply involved in Drugs. I hated that they used drugs, and many times, I hated the people they were when they were under the influence....but I NEVER hated THEM.

I think it would be different if I saw them HATE, and murder.

Not just kill - but try to eradicate an entire race, religion, sex, etc.

What is the Solution?

Should America step in and fight this?

Can we fight it effectively by trying to LOVE the BAD GUYS?


Can you be a good Christian and want to fight back until the HATE stops?

I'm seriously at a loss. I don't know the answer. I want to think that you can find a way to solve anything through love, kindness, and doing GOOD to all mankind. But in this case, I really truly honestly think that it has to be fought with a hatred towards Evil, and that no exceptions can be made to allow this in the world. Our soil, or anybody else's.

They touched this topic in the Debates last night. I don't think either candidate satisfied my interest. Is this a time for LOVE, or a time for HATE?
What do you think?

Saturday, October 4, 2008

MY family kicks YOUR family's A$&

The first time I saw them I thought, "Oh! That's kind of clever and cute! They must really love their family."




Then they had Mickey Mouse ears.
And names below each "figure".
Or were sea turtles.
Or looked like my 20-month-old daughter had drawn them.
THEN included their pets!!!

Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, does every other car I see on the road have their happy little window sticker families on the back window??? Better question: Why do they bother me so much?

We get it. You love your family. And clearly, you must love them more than I love mine, or I would have each individual plastered all over my car, too.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


If you have a sense of humor and an opinion, this is the place for you! Drop us a line. Tell us what you think. Tell us you think we are wrong (even though that's never the case...).

Can't wait to hear from us? Me neither. :)