Sunday, June 28, 2009

The 'Spiritual' voice

I can remember being a little kid and getting screamed at for stuff. Stuff that was certifiably scream-able. I don't blame my Mom for screaming, and I actually think it was good to see her get mad every now and then. Otherwise Mom's would just be pushovers, right? You gotta know where the line is. I can also remember how flawlessly that voice would go from horrifying to pleasantly humble in a matter of milliseconds when the phone rang, or some poor soul would come to the door. It's a transformation I've been trying to master, but so far I've failed miserably. I've noticed that if I have just spent the last ten minutes in fury at my family, that I am equally unpleasant if I answer the door or phone. I'm basically just pure in emotion all the time, and you get what I am- no smoke, no mirrors. I've started to think that maybe there's more behind a voice that I thought. Maybe it's the nice-voiced people that are really the dangerous ones.

I have started to notice that there are lots of difference kinds of voices. The worst of those being the ones that have adapted from a regular speaking voice into the 'Spiritual' voice. Everybody knows at least one. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a bad dream surrounded by inhuman smile-painted-on women. WAKE ME UP!!! Seriously though.

Without going into too much detail- I know this girl. She and I have MANY differences. One BLATANTLY obvious one is that I have a regular voice, and everything she says comes out oozing in sweetness, softness, and is irritatingly sing-song-y. So, why.....WHY, when she is clearly a very nice person, does she irritate me so badly?

Because. Her 'SPIRITUAL' voice does not hide the fact that she is clearly a self-righteous, judging, snotty pants. Just because you say it NICELY doesn't mean that what your saying isn't totally LAME!!! And guess what, it doesn't matter how sweet you pretend to be on the outside, and how quiet and nice you squeak out words- the truth is, there are good people in the world that talk normally, and don't wear bows in their hair (in their 20's!!).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sick of this double standard. I'm done with the 'SPIRITUALLY' voice-ed people getting away with being jerks and saying totally rude things all the time, and never taking the responsibility for it just because they said it softly, and with insincere concern. I'd rather have somebody bluntly tell me whatever needs to be said in a regular voice.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Creep

Creeps ALWAYS drive in BLUE cars.

You know it's TRUE.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Poopy Doopy

There's something about:

Institutional Buildings


Big Box Retail Stores

that really makes me

have to


I can't explain it.

Can you?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Wedding Photos

So I was helping my friend with her baby while she took our friend's wedding photos on Saturday, and it was honestly a blast! While making sure she got in all the shots the couple and couple's parents really wanted, the bride's brother mentioned sunglasses... She actually said to her now-husband, "We should have brought our glasses for a "shades" shot!"


Why does every couple (at least, I swear every other Mormon couple) think they need a "cool shades" shot?

This is the most formal event of your life! (Most likely, anyway...) Stick to the basics, with a creative photographer to mix it up just a bit, and let it be beautiful. You don't need to sacrifice your personality, but come on. "Cool Shades"???

Thank goodness their glasses were in their car.

(Disclaimer: The rest of the wedding was incredibly beautiful and "cool shades"-esque free.)